Best friend. It’s a title, a moniker bestowed on few people in our lives. If we are lucky, that same person lasts for decades…sometimes lifetimes. However, we are oftentimes not so fortunate. Most of us have best friends come and go. Myself included….save one.
So what is a best friend anyway?
And even though we’ve had arguments, disagreements over the years, you are one of the few people I simply cannot stay mad at….because years ago you told me that your purpose was to do one thing…and one thing alone….to show me what unconditional love really is. And you have always stayed true to your word….in spite of everything….sometimes…most times, even in spite of me.
No matter how difficult I was, you were there. No matter how stubborn I was….you loved me anyway. No matter if we got into an argument and went three months without a word to one another, you trusted in me….you knew I would make the right decisions. And…you waited patiently for me to do so. And I did. If I needed something, you were always the first volunteer in line. If I was hurting, you were the first person to offer words of encouragement, hugs and a listening ear. Always. Every tiny “win” I had, you were always my biggest fan. For four years now. And, hopefully, for a lifetime to follow.
You were my shadow. My biggest fan, my biggest devotee, my best student and my most incredible teacher for lessons I had yet to learn. And you always waited…patiently, for me to learn them.
You were never the tough love type. In fact, you were better than those who were. Instead of telling me what I needed to do, you showed me, you waited for me to follow suit. When I got sick, you stopped drinking for you, and for me. Because you knew it was bad for me. When I smoked, you never yelled…not once. You let me do what I felt I needed to do, but you didn’t join me anymore. Because instead of criticizing me, instead of joining me, you wanted to show me a better way. I paid attention to all of that. I paid attention to your guidance, because it was gentle, it was subtle. It was love…in its most pure of forms. And that is what changed me. You gave me an example, not an opinion.
You told me once that you came to care for and love me because of what you saw me write years ago. That was the thing that drew you into my sphere. And as I write this tonight, I do so because of what you said. Words have power when used correctly or incorrectly. But, regardless of how I used mine, I can say that I grew to love you, to want you in my life all the time every day, not just because of your words, but because of your actions. Because I trust you, because I believe in you, because your actions have always, 100% of the time met up with your words, if not eclipsed them. That’s why you’re my best friend.
Unlike so many others who want to live on a soap box, or in a world where love is conditional, you showed me a light both in your heart and inside of me that was always eclipsed by the darkness of condition. You put me in touch with my anger, with who I was really angry at, you helped me in a million different ways. You made a heavy, weighted heart light again….for the first time in the longest time.
You have been right there through many of my struggles. You have never waivered. You have never failed. You have never disappointed me. Sure, you pissed me off a couple times, but we always talk it out. Just like every time you ticked me off….we talk it out. Because that’s what REAL best friends do.
When you find somewhere you belong, sometimes it’s isn’t a where, it’s with a who. It’s rare to feel at home with people anywhere in the world. That’s what my best friend does for me. I could be anywhere, nowhere and everywhere, but with my best friend by my side, I’m home. Because you’re the best “best” friend I never had. And that’s why my best friend is the best “best” friend I’ve never had…until now.
All my love,