Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read this post all the way to the end, because woven within my prose, I have a question for you…a question I would genuinely like your answer to. Because that question is all about YOU.
For years, I was told that I was “unapproachable.” I have an intense look on my face all the time. I have no problem meeting someone’s gaze, right in the eye. I carry myself with confidence. Apparently, if you add these things together, it makes me “intimidating.”
Which, with my standing at a measly 5 feet 6 inches high, I find almost comical. I would never classify little old me as intimidating.
Yet, I digress.
Years ago, the idea that I was intimidating and unapproachable bothered me to no end. However, nowadays, I actually see my unapproachability as plus, for 3 distinctly different reasons.
1. I don’t have to deal with social drivel
My “unapproachability” is my own unique brand of psychological velvet rope. While other people put up with nonsense galore from the human race, the simple fact that I’m “unapproachable” frees up my time to do what I love: write, spend time with my family and enjoy each day to its fullest potential.
2. People leave me alone
I got burnt out on having to constantly deal with people many years ago. Perhaps it was because I spent so much time observing people on their worst behavior; perhaps I just like being an introvert. Perhaps the words, “alcoholic recluse” held particular appeal to me. I don’t really know. (That last bit was a joke, by the way.)
Thanks to this, I avoid meaningless, shallow conversations that I (frankly), don’t have time for. Killing small talk lets me turn my energy toward (what I feel are) worthwhile pursuits, growth and personal awakening. I like that.
3. I have more time to forge meaningful relationships
I admit, I am a control freak. I have been a control freak all of my life, and I don’t plan on changing anytime soon.
Thing is, my being “unapproachable” means that I get to pick and choose who I want to approach; who I want to get to know better. As cold as it may seem, it is a far more efficient use of my time. And since we all have a limited time on this giant blue marble as it is, I like to spend my time in the wisest ways possible.
So how does my speech about being unapproachable correlate to you?
Everyone has aspects of their personality that they (and others) perceive as positive. Equally, everyone also has a few negative aspects of their personality. However, just because someone tells you something is a negative, doesn’t always make it so. What matters is whether or not you are comfortable in your own skin, whether or not you like you, and whether or not you genuinely believe that aspect of “you” is a negative at all.
Here is the thing: I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I can candidly say that being unapproachable is undoubtedly crossed off my “Personality Flaws To Work On” list.
Yes, I have a list for that. In fact, I think everyone should. (But that is another post.)
So my question to you is this:
Is there an aspect of you other folks might perceive as negative but just happens to be something you love?
I want to hear about it. Honest.