Valentine’s Day is usually taken one of two ways: either it’s loved by those in a happy relationship or marriage, or it’s resented by those who are single. Of course, there is a spectrum, but those are the two ends of it.
For those who are happily married, the dilemma I’ve noted is whether you flat out say what you want or you let him guess (because let’s face it, it’s usually the men who are wondering and the women who want them to exercise a form of ESP heretofore nonexistent. Ever.) Those are usually the ones who are new to the whole thing.
Then there are those who have been happily married for some time and made it through the Fire Swamp and they just leave cut-out pictures on the counter or kitchen table with a sharpie note on it that says “this please” and everybody is happy.
For those who are single, there are those who are genuinely happy for others who have somebody, and there are those who resent every single engagement ring, chocolate candy, cute stuffed thing, romantic dinner deal, or overly-priced flower commercial, and they quietly seethe until February 15 when they can buy their own dang stuff for half off.
Still others are like Loki.
Don’t be like Loki! There is another way! At least I am going another way this year, and I’m not really caring if I embarrass the recipients because that’s my job (as their mother). Valentine’s Day is about love, and was supposedly named in honor of the Roman Priest who was martyred for performing marriages against the edict of the then-emperor Claudius, who had decreed that young people could not marry.
Claudius would rather that single men focused on fighting and not worrying about the safety of a wife or family. But, Valentine believed in love and performed ceremonies in secret…until he got caught and died a horrible death.
But there will be no horrible deaths this year! Except maybe to the stereotypical view of this day because love is love and you can celebrate it any darn way you please, whether it’s with puppy kisses, baby hugs, a chocolate cake all to yourself (don’t judge) or, in my case, sharing how blessed I am with the two kids God gifted to me.
We’ve been lucky over the years; we never really had those eye-rolling “geez, Mom” moments because I’m a cool mom and most everything I say is witty and wise and wonderful and my children adore me and appreciate my love and tidbits of advice and wisdom.
Both of them are taking college courses, love animals, and want to make the world a better place. They each have their own strengths and gifts and talents, things God infused in them from the beginning, in the womb, because yes, in the womb is a baby person, and God “created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb” ~ Psalm 139:13.
They grew older and moved away from home, Zach to defend our country, Hannah to get a degree, and they continue to grow and mature and learn and experience and share and bless. I find things out about the adults they have become and it fills my heart (spoiler alert – this could get mushy) with so much pride and love for them. But, sshhh…don’t tell them. That could prompt one of those rare eye-rolling “geez, Mom” moments.
But it’s okay. I can do that. I’m Mom and I carried them each for 9 months…that was no picnic. And the deliveries? We won’t even go there. Through the hills and valleys of raising them as a single mom, I grew, too. And my love for them keeps growing. I guess that’s what kind of love a successful long-term marriage builds. In that case, congratulations to those who have it. It’s no picnic. But it is worth it.
Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody. How will you be spending yours? Share in the comments below!
Becky is a single mom and a reluctant disciple, called to share her story with others in her own unconventional way. She knows God equips her for her journey, and does her best to trust in His plan for that journey, and not to judge others on their journeys…unless the waist of their pants is at their butt cheeks; then she thinks they should pull those puppies up. Or if somebody says she eats too much chocolate; then she just can’t be friends with them anymore. But she will pray for them. Join her to discover how your plans and God’s plans come together in this life filled with groovy trails.